


Pirates of Wild Jelly-Bean

by Manuscriptor



Series: Pirate AU [1]
Category: Cream Heroes (Youtube)
Genre: Cream Heroes, Gen, Pirates, adventures on the high seas, just saying, they are best friends in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 21:50:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18374747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manuscriptor/pseuds/Manuscriptor
Summary: In honor of the channel's newest vid, Lulu and Lala are pirates on the high seas, pillaging who they choose and living a life of crime





	Pirates of Wild Jelly-Bean

**Author's Note:**

> [this video](https://youtu.be/9Uunu72ujt0) is the one I'm talking about

The waves crashed against the side of the ship, sending it rocking wildly as the wind caught in its sails and kept it on course and moving. To the untrained cat, it would’ve brought on the worst case of sea sickness and headache that would’ve lasted weeks. It was nothing to Captain Lulu and Captain Lala though.

They stood at the front of their ship, faces to the wind and muskets gleaming, scouting the horizon for their next victim.

Their buckles and buttons gleamed in the sun of the clear afternoon. Their long, salt-soaked coats snapped around their legs and tails in the wind, but both of them were seasoned enough not to get tripped up by something so simple. Lala dawned a black tricorn hat tipped at the edges with gold. Lulu had his ears trapped beneath a red checkered handkerchief. Both of them were armed to the teeth with guns and knives and swords.

“Look alive!” Lala called, propping her paws on her hips and scanning her crew. “I have a good feeling about today. Keep the sails full and the winds at our backs. We’re going to ride this good weather for everything it’s worth!”

“We haven’t seen dry land or another ship in days,” Lulu said, in the middle of polishing his wicked looking rapier. “We’re running low on previsions and the men are getting restless. If we don’t get a hit soon, I’d reckon we might have whispers of a mutiny.”

“Nonsense,” Lala said. “If any one of these yellow-bellied landlubbers even thinks of crossing me—” She pulled out her own rapier and brandished it at the sky. “I’ll slice them open like a fish on a hot day! Mark my words!”

Lulu just rolled his eyes. “Let’s hope for a ship then,” he said. “Before we have to start scrubbing blood from the decks.”

“Ship ahoy!” the cat in the crow’s nest called, and the crew was immediately abuzz with excitement.

Lulu pulled out his spyglass in an instant and stepped up to the railing. He snapped the device open and held it up to his face, scanning the horizon for the ship that had been spotted. It only took him a couple moments before he was able to find what the lookout had been yelling about

It was indeed a ship. A huge, fortified thing with three full masts and billowing wings of white sails. A barque, if Lulu was identifying it right. It flew the colors of the French Navy tall and proud, and Lulu grinned at the rounded sides he knew were brimming with luggage and food. And it was all ripe for the taking, ready for them to sweep in undetected.

“Full sails!” Lala called already jumping into action. “Set a course! Look alive, boys, and we’ll be eating good tonight!”

And Lulu knew that was a promise.

He snapped the spyglass shut and tucked it into his pocket, grabbing his sword and running for the helm, wanting to help with the steering. The rest of their crew was rushing to their places, readying canons and hoisting sails. A lot of them were loading up their own pistols and brandishing their swords, hungry for a fight just as much as Lala was. They had been doing nothing for the past few weeks and they were definitely eager for action.

So was Lulu.

It had been too long since he gutted a ship and hauled up the treasures he found. Plus, he could use some variation in his diet. Pickled foods were okay, the tack he could do without, and they could catch a fish ever once in a while, but they weren’t able to have a true feast unless they took another ship.

And it looked like they would be having a feast tonight.

“All hands on deck!” he called. “Ship on the horizon, and we’re giving chase!”

He reached the helm and gave a nod to the cat at the wheel. The tom was burly and strong from wrestling with the wheel for days on end, one golden ring looped through his ear and another through his nose. His long calico fur was pulled back into a tail to keep it out of the way, and he definitely didn’t look like a cat you would want to mess with.

“Aye,” he said, his voice gruff and worn from the sea wind and salt. “Ship’s slow enough, Cap’n. We’ll catch her in a couple flicks of the tail.”

“Thanks, Bix,” Lulu said. “Try to keep up this pace. Pull alongside broadside and we’ll gun them out of their decks.”

“Don’t want to sink the thing,” Bix grumbled, turning the wheel a couple degrees to keep them on course. “It’s gotta be full of all the stuff and not we need. _Wild Jelly-Bean_ needs some repairs and I’d love to show my girl some love.”

“We’ll get resources alright,” Lulu promised. “If we can get one more good haul after this, I’m sure Lala wants to dock up soon.”

“The men could use a good drink or two,” Bix said, putting his weight against the wheel to turn the ship against the tear of the wind. “You know they get antsy without the embrace of sweet liquor ever now and then.”

Lulu laughed. “Don’t know about liquor but we’ll be getting something to drink tonight,” he said, pressing himself up against the railing and smiling wildly as the barque had definitely gotten closer than before. Almost within reach at this point.

“Sharp now!” Lala called.

She was up at the bow, tail whipping in the wind. She was leaning out over the water, holding onto her tricorn to make sure it didn’t fly off. Even from the distance, Lulu could see the wild look of adventure in her eyes. Yes, it had been a while since they had taken a ship and everyone had bloodlust running through their veins. With the canons primed and their swords gleaming, hell would break loose when they caught up to the barque.

“We’ll gut them open and leave ‘em to the sharks!” Lala called.

Their crew cheered and hoisted their swords and guns in the air, waving them at the sky. They were well within sights of the other ship and while they could see the activity on the barque’s deck, their enemies could very well see the activity on their own galleon.

“Hoist the colors, Jack!” Lala called. “Let’s show these yellow-bellied cowards just who they’re dealing with!”

Another tom, a lithe tabby who was missing one entire ear, scampered up the mast with a bundle clenched between his teeth. He moved with balanced ease, obviously experienced and able to move without the threat of falling. He paused in position and unfolded the bundle, tying it quickly into place and then heaving the rope upward.

The skull and crossbones unfurled in the catch of the wind, snapping open and advertising for all to see just exactly who and what they were.

Lulu grinned when he saw the sailors on the deck of the barque scramble into a panic, their suspicions confirmed and now their cargo in danger. It was laughable to watch their attempts, knowing all too well that in a couple moments, they would be overtaken.

“Broadside!” Bix called from behind the wheel. “Steady now!”

“Wait for my call!” Lala said, raising a paw as their galleon pulled up behind the barque and then turned to its side just like Bix had said.

Their crew was jumping at the canons, lighters ready, eager for the first shot, the crack and splinter of wood, and the sweet victory that would come with their spoils. Bix kept them on course, obviously, not wanting to crash the ships together but wanting to get a bit closer to ensure good aim and no wasted cannon balls.

From this distance, Lulu was finally able to make out the swirled script painted on the side of the barque, naming their conquest. The _Orion Star._ A beauty she was. The wood would mend their own ship well and their sails hadn’t even seen a single patch, gleaming white under the sun and wind. With the food and other goods hiding in her hold, she was a fine catch and a fine spot.

“Fire!” Lala called, dropping her paw.

The guns in the hold of the _Wild Jelly-Bean_ erupted with explosions of fire and sound, and their crew howled in excitement as the first shots hit. The side of the _Orion Star_ splintered and cracked, the wood no match for the iron balls.

“Aim away from the sails!” Lala called, recognizing the worth of new fabric. “Clear the decks and cross over!”

Lulu grabbed a stray rope of his own, wrapping it around his paw and making sure it would hold his weight. Bix was pulling up alongside the barque now, leveling them as their own canons took out the threat of enemy guns. In a moment, Lulu would be able to swing over and take to paw-to-paw combat. He clamped a knife in his teeth, waited a beat, and then hoisted himself up.

He swung over the gap between the ships, clearing the gap easily and with no threat of dropping into the water.

He landed on the deck of the _Orion Star_ and started swinging. It was easy to differentiate between the uniformed officers of the Navy and his own, rag tag crew. Lulu attacked with no abandon, knowing that the cats that were left alive would be thrown to the fishes.

“Take her, men!” Lala called, still over on the _Wild Jelly-Bean_ and heading up the rest of her crew.

With wild cries, the pirates swung into action, boarding their conquest with ruthless excitement. They joined Lulu in the scuffle, and the deck was filled with the clash of metal, the pop of guns, and the cries of those who didn’t want to die just yet. Out of the corner of his eye, Lulu spotted the flash of white that signaled that Lala had joined the scuffle for herself, fighting with twice the ferocity of any tom and taking down anyone who dared challenge her.

“Get below decks!” she called, cutting down the crewman who was in front of her. “Flush them out and take the spoils!”

Their crew whooped and cheered and like the wanted vermin the Navy thought they were, they ripped open the doors and flooded the lower decks. Lulu was right on their tails, wanting to be the one who found the food and drink and dragged it up.

The hold of the barque wasn’t as dark and gloomy as their own galleon. It had fancy lanterns nailed into the walls filled with fat white candles. The walkways were kept clean and open so that no one would trip accidentally, but in this case, it worked against them. Lulu and his men swept through the area and ransacked everything they came across.

Lulu let his men take care of the common areas, yanking down hammocks and upturning trunks of personal possessions. No respect and decency among these toms. Nothing was sacred and nothing was off limits. Whatever they could get their paws on was fair game.

Lulu let them have at it. He headed straight for the mess hall.

The cook was probably up with the rest of the crew, joining in to help the fight. That meant that the space was free for Lulu to pillage all he wanted. And he almost groaned at the sight of the bags of grain, the jars of pickled goods, the glass containers of hard ale and freshwater alike, the wooden cases of sweet dried fruit and vegetables, and the largest stacks of jerky and fish that he had ever seen.

A feast was right.

They would gorge themselves tonight.

He started grabbing everything he could possibly carry and hurried to drag it above deck.

Just like he thought, his crew had managed to dispatch the entirety of the _Orion Star_ , the few cats that had survived were tied in the center of the deck. Most, like Lulu, had moved onto hauling goods across the gap between the ships, moving quickly while the tethers kept them tied. Bix knew how to handle the _Wild Jelly-Bean_ but if they were struck with a gust of wind this close, there wasn’t much that would stop them from crashing together.

Lulu found Lala at the helm of the _Orion Star_ , surveying her work with an obvious look of pride. There was a splatter of blood across her cheek and even more across her paws and chest. She looked just as ghastly and ferocious that the stories about her claimed. She glanced at Lulu and his cargo, nodding in approval at his choices.

“Easy as striking a seagull,” she said, sheathing her sword with a snap. “Honestly, you would think they would train their Navy better at this point. I almost feel bad.”

“Almost?” Lulu said with a teasing smile.

Lala just rolled her eyes. “Almost but not quite.”

Lulu looked back at the survivors, almost pitying the way their ears drooped and they panted out of breath from the fight. Their uniforms were more than ripped and scuffed from the fight, and almost all of them were bleeding from one wound or another.

“Should we toss them overboard?” he asked.

Lala shook her head. “We’ll strip the star of everything we can take and leave them to figure out how to get home. If their vessel sinks—” She shrugged. “Well, that’s not my problem.”  

Lulu nodded. “I’ll help unload the goods,” he said. “If you want to deal with the survivors.”

“You always choose the fun stuff,” Lala said, but she was already rubbing her paws together and looking greedily at their prisoners.

Lulu left her to do whatever she needed to do and carried his own goods back to the _Wild Jelly-Bean_. Gang planks had been placed across the gap that allowed the larger boxes and crates to be moved more easily. Lulu used these for himself as he carried the food across. He chatted idly with others in his crew as they worked, making sure that everything important was taken. They worked as quickly as they could, but it was still quite some time before the ship was cleared enough to Lulu’s satisfaction. Besides the food and the other basic provisions, the raid had yielded enough wood and sails to make Bix purr. Several chests of gold had been dragged up from the hold as well as several chests of spices and expensive goods from faraway lands.

The crew had ended the attack by prying the candle holders out of the walls and carrying them whooping and cheering back to the _Wild Jelly-Bean_ in triumph.

Lulu watched with a great sense of satisfaction as Lala cut the few survivors free and hurried back to her own vessel. With a signal from her and a great heave, Bix pulled their ships apart and disengaged cleanly, leaving the poor cats to perish to the elements.

“Cheers,” he said to Lala as she returned to his side. He handed her one of the bottles of what he had discovered to be apple ale. “For a job well done.”

Lala tipped the bottle back and downed half of the contents in one long guzzle. She wiped her mouth on the back of her paw with a satisfied sigh. She toasted what was left to Lulu’s own bottle.

“Definitely a job well done,” she said with a laugh. She turned to the rest of her crew who were all waiting for the words of congratulations on their success.

They were all looking to them, holding bottles of their own drink and fistfuls of food. Some wore jewelry they had pilfered, pearls around their necks, new rings on their fingers and in their ears, and bracelets pushed up onto their arms. Others were carrying the new pistols and swords they had gotten, obviously proud of their new weapons. And still others cradled their precious candle holders with glee.

Lala put a fist in the air, and they erupted in cheers as if that was the sign they had been waiting for.

“Tonight!” she yelled. “We feast on our spoils! And by next week, we’ll be docked and on land, long last.”

“To the skull and bones!” Jack, the one-eared tom, yelled from the back of the crowd. He had his bottle raised to the sky and a wild grin on his smile. His cry was taken up and echoed by the rest of the crew.

And with that, they began their revels, drinking and eating their fill, passing around the gold, and sharing the spoils. The entire ship prospered from such a run, so no one thought to hoard anything for themselves. It was a night of celebration and revelry, and once the ale was flowing a bit too strongly, there were much more arm touches and shoulder claps and perhaps even a few stolen kisses.

No one was judging. Everyone was drunk.

Lulu and Lala were right at the center of it, drinking bottle for bottle and eating the sausages and sweet fruit they had stolen. Lala was still covered half in blood but grooming would come later.

For now, they just celebrated the fact that they were the Pirates of _Wild Jelly-Bean,_ some of the most notorious to sail the seas and the scourge of any sort of civil government. Violent and bloodthirsty, out for gold and drinks, and nothing to stop them but their own hubris.


End file.
